We had only reached the second stop light when our conversation officially began.
"Fucking Queers!" Darin says
At the intersection of Main St and 1000 N stood two young men, early twenties, waiting to cross.
"You know them or something?" I say
"Nope. They just look like homo's to me." he says
I glance up from my crossword puzzle and look out the window. While I try and distinguish a difference between gay and straight, I no longer care about a five letter word for sandwich.
As for the two men Darin is talking about:
One is tall
One is short
The both have on hoodies
The hoodies are both different colors.
The tall one is wearing a green zip up hoodie.
The short one is wearing a blue pull over with the word "Billibong" on it.
"How do you know that?" I ask
"What?"
"That those guys are gay?"
Darin tells me he just has a knack for that sort of thing.
I ask him if he has a thing against Gay People.
"'Course I do." he says "Every damn one of them wants to fuck me." Says "You trying to tell me you don't have a problem with Gay people?"
I tell him no.
"No What? No you don't have a problem with Gay people or no you're not trying to tell me you don't have a problem with Gay people."
I tell him I'm confused with what he just said.
Then I tell him I don't have a problem with Gay people.
The two men pass by the front of the idled truck.
"Your not gonna kick me out 'cause I don't have a problem with Gay people are you?" I ask
"No, I'll just kill you." he says
I look out from his passenger window and say "Huh."
Darin tells me he's just kidding.
"Or am I..." he says. Then he laughs. He rolls down his window and lights a marlboro light cigarette and laughs.
"Just don't try anything on me." he says "Then I'll really have to kill you."
After a minute of silence and two miles down the road I ask him
"So you got a problem with all gay people or just gay men?"
"What do you mean?" he says
I ask him if he has a problem with Lesbians.
"Fuck no! Why would I have a problem with Lesbians. That's fucking hot!" he says
A few more miles down the road I ask Darin if he has a girlfriend.
"Fuck no! Why would I want a girlfriend." He says "Girlfriends are nothing more than bitches who want to take your money."
Again I look out of the passenger window and stare. Again I'll I can say is "huh"
After a minute of silence I Iook back down to my crossword puzzle. It tells me I need to find a six letter word with "CAMEL" as the hint.
A few more miles down the road Darin asks me "Your not a Vegetarian are you?"
I tell him no. I ask him if he's one. He tells me "Fuck no!" Then he tells me "I used to say the only thing worse than a Vegetarian is a queer vegetarian."
I can no longer focus on my six letter word
I ask Darin if he likes meat.
He tells me no. He tells me his Esophagus is full of scar tissue from Gastric Reflux disease. He says he has a hard time digesting meat.
"Did you eat a lot of meat when you were younger?" I ask
He tells me he's never really liked it.
Another mile down the road I ask him if there is anything he does like. He smiles and tells me no.
At the intersection of Highway 36 and Highway 138 I tell him to turn right.
He makes a right and tells me he used to have a friend who lived around here.
"I was beginning to think you didn't have any friends." I tell him.
He tells me to fuck off and if I make another comment like that he's going to smash my face in.
Then he tells me he's kidding.
"Or am I?" He says.
I tell him to make another right and we pull into my neighborhood. We drive to the dead end of my street, make a U-turn and pull up to the side of my house.
I hold out my hand. "Darin, this has been interesting." I tell him. "Thank you for the ride I say."
He doesn't reach for my hand. He just looks at me.
"Anytime" He says
As I open the passenger door and begin to step out he shouts "Wait!"
"Jockey" he says
"What the fuck are you talking about." I say
"Your six letter word. I think it's Jockey."
I look down at the ground and say "huh" Then I tell him thanks.
"You know your all right." He says
He tells me if I need a ride tomorrow he'll give me one.
I tell him thanks.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
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2 comments:
never mind darin, i'll come pick you up.
though i'm right shit at crossword puzzles, you're on your own there...
oh wait, lisssty, i just thought of one. what's a four letter word for "who's got great tits?"
K-A-G-E
bwahahahahahahahahaha
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