Thursday, December 23, 2010

Today is Thursday, December 23rd

Today is Thursday, December 23rd. What this means is;
Busiest travel day of the year
Last minute shopping
Suicide Rates are high
Anxiety over family

Right now Stu is on edge. His hands are on Ten and Two and nail marks are digging into the steering wheel.
"I can't see anything!" he says
The fog is thick. Visibility I'm guessing is Ten feet. The bus is crawling along going now more than Ten miles an hour and what normally is a 25 minute ride, is taking close to 40. I stare out of the passenger window and write in my Moleskin.
In the aisle directly across from me is Suzanne. She is a Forty-Something single mother who works at Wal-mart.
"What are you doing?" she asks
"I'm just taking notes." I say
Suzanne pulls a green thermos from a reusable Wal-mart shopping bag.
"Are you a journalist or a writer or something like that?" She asks
"Sort of." I say
She unscrews the plastic lid and flips up on a red nozzle
"Are you published?"
"Sort of"
Her eyes open wide with excitement.
"Really! That is so cool!" She says "Who is your publisher?"
She pours what looks like coffee into the lid she previously unscrewed.
"Wait! Let me guess!" She says "Ummm...Random House?"
"Warner Books?"
"Try again?"
"Little Brown?"
"Blog"I say
Her face is frozen.
"It's a website blog. It's free and anyone can do it." I say
Her look now reminds me of a Kid who just met Santa Claus but later learned he was fake. For a split second I was somebody. She was talking to a writer. Someone who made it. Now, she looks into the eyes of a wanna be disconnected from reality.
"Oh. That's nice." she says
She turns her face around and stares forward.
Today is Thursday, December 23rd. What this means is;
Remember the Egg Nog
Take out the Roast
The Banks are only open till 1 tomorrow
Buy Wrapping Paper

My house is a fucking mess. Not just one room but ALL rooms. My water has been off for a few days. I have stacks of dishes in the sink. The stink of egg shells, frozen pizza, rotting ranch dressing, Tuna fish and stagnant water fills my kitchen.
Then there's the garbage. I keep forgetting to take out the garbage on Wednesdays’. So it sits there. Pilling up in my garage like a junk yard it sits there.
I scan the wreckage. Even while I sit among this infestation, I can't find the motivation to clean. I just sit there on the couch.
I sit there and think about masturbating.
The blinds are closed
The only thing I need now is a wipe rag. I decide just to sit there and do nothing.
Laziness 1
Motivation 0
Today is Thursday, December 23rd. What this means is;
Two more days till Christmas
The winter Solstice was two days ago
The Temperature outside is 37 degrees Fahrenheit

Around Eleven O'clock my friend Luke calls. I pick up my phone and try to answer. The battery goes dead. I sit there on the couch. I'm too lazy to go plug the phone into my charger.
Laziness 1
Motivation 0
I sit there and feel bad. Yesterday was my friend’s birthday. I was supposed to be there. In Idaho. I was supposed to be there for his Birthday. My inheritance check from my trust fund was supposed to clear by then but it hasn't. I have no money for gifts of any kind for anyone. I sit here and feel bad.
Today is Thursday, December 23rd. What this means is;
Taylor Swift among top gift under tree
Happy Birthday Eddie Vedder
Mince Pies on Sale at Marie Calanders
The Santa Clause with Tim Allen is on T.V. tonight

The Microwave tells me its 1:45. This means I need to get ready if I'm going to catch the bus into town. My Laziness tells me to call my Therapist and tell her I'm not going to group tonight. I tell my Laziness because it didn't let me plug my phone into it's charger I can't. I get up, take a shower, and put some fresh clothes on.
Motivation-Winner by default.
Laziness 2
Motivation 1

Stu drops me off at the Library a quarter past Three. The fog has thinned out but is still there. Inside, Cheryl directs me to computer station number three. It's here, at computer station number Three I sit and type. Thirty Minutes from now I will leave computer station number three and head towards my group. I have no idea what I will do tomorrow or the next.
Today is Thursday, December 23rd. What this means is;

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